1. Fill glass with your favorite adult beverage.
  2. During the President’s acceptance speech, drink every time he mentions any of the items on this list.

In the category of actions the President has direct, personal control over:

  • Kill list
  • Drone strikes

In the category of things where the final decision lies with the President:

  • Guantanamo Bay prison, military commissions, CIA renditions
  • Indefinite detention, National Defense Authorization Act of 2011
  • State Secrets Privilege

In the category of policies the President has control over as head of the executive branch:

  • Deportations, immigrant detention, Secure Communities
  • Domestic surveillance, electronic eavesdropping, warrantless wiretapping, sneak and peak, cellphone tracking, paid informants, entrapment, sting operations
  • Data sharing, biometrics, Suspicious Activity Reporting, NSA data center, Integrated Automated Fingerprint Identification System/IAFIS, Automated Biometric Identification System/IDENT, Combined DNA index System/CODIS, automated biometric identification system/ABIS, facial recognition
  • Whistleblowers, Espionage Act prosecutions, classified national security information
  • NSA, FBI, CIA, DHS, TSA, ICE, ATF, CBP, or the Office of the Director of National Intelligence

In the category of tragedies the President could significantly impact through a combination of taking up the bully pulpit and realigning federal funding incentives:

  • War on drugs, mass incarceration, felony disenfranchisement

In the category of the President as custodian of fundamental American values:

  • First Amendment, Fourth Amendment, Fifth Amendment, Sixth Amendment, Eighth Amendment

After President Obama says “…and God Bless America,” wipe away tears and pour out your untouched glass.

Also 100% safe for teetotalers, Mormons, and pregnant women.